I’ve been thinking about doing this post for a while now, but I was leery, in part because I’m kind of writing an ad, and in part because more squeamish readers may get all squicked out and shriek “OMG TMI!” before collapsing on their fainting couches. ‘Cause I’m talkin’ ’bout ‘ginas, folks. ‘Ginas, which are known to bleed (or at least channel blood and tissue from your failed-baby-purse to the outside world) on a regular basis.
This is where the DivaCup comes in. Until a year or so ago, I was a regular tampon user from way back. I rode the cotton pony, like most other women. I’d heard about the DC maybe 18 months or 2 years ago, and while I was curious and interested, I was also slightly skeptical, and I was not sure about dropping money on something that might not work and that of course, one can’t return after you jam it up your hoo-haa.
‘Cause that’s what you do. “Jam it up your hoo-haa” sounds a bit harsh, but that’s what you do with tampons, and the DC doesn’t have dioxin-bleached fibers that might be left behind. It’s a little weird, at first, but only because it’s new. And the name is stupid, but I try to ignore that.
Because otherwise I love it. I look forward to my period because it means “no babies,” but otherwise, I could do without the bloating and zits and excruciating boob pain. And the need to have a stash in your bag, and concern if you’re stuck someplace for longer than you expected. But the DC does simplify things a bit. You only have to deal with it twice a day: morning and night, when you’re likely to be home, and if you have to push it bit, you can. Take it out, dump the contents in the turl, wash it off, and back in your hoo-haa it goes. (I like the term “hoo-haa,” but please substitute your preferred euphemism: bajingo, sugarbowl, kitty, etc. Leave your fave in comments!) I will not accept any “ew, icky!” comments about touching your own vadge. If you’re weirded out by it, you should a) seek therapy; b) quit expecting other people to have sex with you; and/or c) get yourself some big-girl pants, then drop ‘em and get your fingers up there.
I’ve never had leaks or cramps or any problems whatsoever, and I have already more than made up the money I paid for it because I haven’t been buying a box (or more) of tampons every month. Also, I’m not putting more stuff into landfills, and I’m a consumer whore for a company who makes a product I like, as opposed to the one that has made a lot of scrilla off exploiting lady-shame. Once I’m done, I wash it really well w/ mild soap and water, then drop it in a cup of water and boil it in the microwave before stashing it.
So what I’m saying is take a chance on this thing. You can buy it at the site I listed above, or at any number of online retailers like drugstore.com or amazon.com for slightly less (no live links; I’m only whoring the DC today).
You can thank me later.
